I'm a starry eyed dreamer. My thoughts linger in the world of possibilities. Of sometimes, unrealities. I don't know, call me a retard but even when I was back in high school I thought that magic lamps exist, and that genies can grant me three wishes, so I've always had my list just in case that happens. I know that genies won't be taken for a fool so they won't grant me unlimited wishes. So I came up with something to somehow circumvent that, I had to wish for magical items.
1st wish, a treasure chest that automatically refills with treasure after you empty it. That takes care of my financial concerns in this world.
2nd wish, a magic platter with a cover that grants me any food that I can imagine. Everytime I have a mental picture of food in my head, I just have to lift the lid and there you go! I just love my food, I know that I can buy it with treasure from wish number 1 but hey, sometimes you just crave for a midnight snack and you want your food right there and then right?
3rd wish, a magic full size mirror that would let me see anything I want in this world and somehow become a teleportation device if I wish to go where I want to go. Nifty tool for voyeurism too!! hahahaha!
It's all fun and all as a younger person, having your creative imagination amuse you and make you believe that everything is possible, however as you start to leave the confines of youth and start to face the realities of life, it makes you wonder... is life really this challenging?
Maybe I just wasn't used to anything really hard. Maybe I'm so out of touch with the real world having to deal with clinical depression and other issues that I just didn't have the opportunity to explore what the real world is... It's challenging... I'm having a hard time.... As I type this post I just want to bawl out crying as I'm having a helluva hard time just surviving in another country, and the thought of going back home next year makes me realize that I don't know what to do with my life... I'm like a child with no lifesaver tossed out into the harsh seas... I'm surviving yes but barely... I don't know what the future holds for me. I try to often keep a positive optimistic attitude about everything but then I get back to thinking, is this all wishful thinking? Am I just being a kid who used to believe in magic lamps?
I'm scared....
My spirit wants to pursue life with passion, but reality weighs me down to what I have to face...
But despite everything I have a strong feeling that I will be doing something I love. Making an impact on this world, speaking my mind... Am I crazy? Am I just believing in magic lamps all over again?
I'm a dreamer... I dream... I believe... I survive... kasira ng moment kasi tagline sa starstruck hahahaha! pero akma kasi sa sitwasyon ko e...
I can do this... I don't have to be scared, I just have to learn how to swim.
