Perspective

So I really gained a lot of weight lately, tipong nagfuse na ung double chin ko sa leeg ko ung ganung level. Heniwey so didn't really care about it I mean, tapos na ata ako sa phase na concerned ako sa looks ko.  Although I do realize na importante pa rin na imaintain para lang ba okay okay naman humarap sa mga tao, tamad lang talaga ako siguro or I just don't effin' care about it anymore (sarap kasi kumain).  Gym is definitely out of the picture I don't see it being part of my lifestyle anymore, running and diet na lang siguro tapos unting buhat buhat lang at home (pero I still don't care, haven't done any of the above).  So ganun, met this straight guy in this thing I'm doing, he's a bit on the chubby side, chubbier than I am that is.  Katuwa lang when he hinted maganda katawan ko hahaha! natawa naman ako pero yes mas payat kasi ako sa kanya so ganun. Natuwa lang ako.  Tapos isingit pa na pwede daw akong artista hahaha uli! I know how I look at di ako artistahin, pero para sa kanya pang artista na. Wala lang alam ko di totoo pero I still relished the compliment hahaha! Ala lang I usually never get those kinds of compliments, and I don't expect to kaya wala lang, it just gave me a boost of happy for the day.

Love, love, love! :)

ngiting kay tamis. :)

So... starting to live my life now, back sa pinas. and after about a year of my break up with my ex, i can say i've moved on.  Paano? I just felt na ok na ko. So to test it out I searched the net for him, stalker much? hehe. When I saw his pictures... he seems so happy, they seem so happy, and I was happy for him, for them. and and and, they look so much alike now... and my partner and i look similar as well. There you go, ayan na ang signs na hinihingi mo. hehehe. Thank you Lord. I wish them well.  I wish us well.

I was also hit with the reality of the amount of work i need to do to fix my life. Hirap kasi e, my brain seems to flutter in and out between reality and fantasy... :( pero ok lang un, i know this time it's gonna be different. I believe i've hurdled much of what life has to offer.  I just need to keep focusing on my goals now.

:)

Thinking Thoughts

I believe that everything happens for a reason. Our lives are a sequence of events that lead us to where we need to be.  Ever since I was a kid, I have always been intrigued about what life really is.  What is its purpose, why are we here?

Personally, I believe that we are souls that need to experience moments that would elevate our understanding and perspective of this world.  Our souls dictate where we need to be, what it needs inorder to grow.  We are where we are because that's where we need to be, that's where we want to be.Only when we learn the lessons that our current situations offer do we move on to the next experience.

This understanding is somehow magical for me.  It made me understand that everything in this earth is not just a random permutation of possible events but is actually an organized reaction to our own thoughts, which is an echo of our souls.

I remember one Cherokee tale about a battle between two wolves raging inside all of us.  One is evil, it is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego.  The other is good, it is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth.  The wolf that wins this battle, is the wolf that you feed.

This story has made me conscious about which thoughts I allow to dominate my day.  It is hard in the beginning, but when you come to that point where you become aware that your thoughts are mainly dominated by negativity, you are then able to begin the process of somehow rewiring how you think.

I know I have a long way to go before I come to a point where I am stable in my life.  The understanding that everything happens for a reason, and that our thoughts are powerful somehow enabled me to believe that the best things are yet to come.  I am joyful, I am content, and I am happy with what I have now.  I am excited for what lies ahead.  I am excited for the experiences life has to offer.  Think happy, be happy. :)