sulat

Dear Lord,

I'm tired. I remember telling my friend recently that I'm not afraid to die, feeling a bit brave for having felt that way.  I was surprised when he remarked, because you're afraid of living. I was taken aback, I never thought of it that way, and I think he is right.

Lord, I know I'm not supposed to cling on to reasons of why I am the way I am right now. I should just move on and make a life with what I have.  But it's hard Lord, I don't think I can.  And I'm lost too, I thought that I've found myself but I feel like I've just twisted myself so much to believe that I have found myself.

Lord, I can't even write half a decent letter to you cause I'm just so tired.

I need a deus ex machina Lord...

Please...

Kimchi!

I love korean men. so hot. ewan ko ba they just exude this gentle energy na would go wildy masculine in the bedroom. They all look so hot. Lean and tall. Great posture. Hot. Want to migrate to south korea now na. dami ko gusto sabihin about korean guys pero sabaw na utak ko, refer na lang to previous post why. hayun.

sabaw!

sabaw na ang utak ko. hahaha! di na nagfufunction ewan ko ba. I just read a few weeks ago that difficult math challenges can actually trigger physical symptoms just like pain would. Natuwa lang ako... actually kasi naman, I'm in a situation right now where I have to do a ton of math things, physics and all that stuff. Ewan ko ba ano nakain ko at naisipan kong gawin to, I remember clearly after coming out of high school deciding na never would I do anything math related! Kaya nga gusto ko sa communications e, kasi i feel that my mind is wired to just blab and blab about everything and nothing.  Ngayon lagi na sumasakit batok ko! kastress!

Sabaw. hahaha. I never felt so stupid in my life. Ganito pala feeling. I feel so helpless. Ewan ko kasi siguro stressed ako dami kasi iniisip kaya di makapagfocus at di maintindihan mga simpleng bagay. Gusto ko na umuwi! I need to raise my IQ points by thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much! i work better when i'm relaxed. sabi nila you have to push yourself beyond your comfort zone, haynaku that's why it's called comfort zone kasi comfortable dun and i'd rather stay there. hahahahaha! pero ok lang i feel like i've grown thiiis much. hahaha! tawa ako ng tawa. nababaliw na ko seriously.

I want to go home!!!!!