sulat

Dear Lord,

I'm tired. I remember telling my friend recently that I'm not afraid to die, feeling a bit brave for having felt that way.  I was surprised when he remarked, because you're afraid of living. I was taken aback, I never thought of it that way, and I think he is right.

Lord, I know I'm not supposed to cling on to reasons of why I am the way I am right now. I should just move on and make a life with what I have.  But it's hard Lord, I don't think I can.  And I'm lost too, I thought that I've found myself but I feel like I've just twisted myself so much to believe that I have found myself.

Lord, I can't even write half a decent letter to you cause I'm just so tired.

I need a deus ex machina Lord...

Please...